Aturmchan

Along with a new season comes a better outlook for me on life. Many hard time befell me and I didn't know if I would make it through or not. All I can say is I am happy I did. Things have become better for me. the seasons have changed, and I feel fresh and new and energized.
I don't believe there will never be a dark time in my life again, but I do believe I'll have the know-how on how to get through it. On a different note, I need to draw more! I find myself doodling like crazy and I'm too embarrassed to put my story on the interwebs....
It's a comic (kinda drawn in a manga characteristic) that I started at the beginning of my freshman year of high school (2007 ish?). There are eight books so far, and its the most realistic way to show others my improvement in my (self taught, only took basic art classes) artistic skills. But along with improvement comes something I never believed would get the best of me..........EMBARRASSMENT!
How the hell am I too embarrassed to show something that I did in 2007?!
maybe it's just knowing that I used to draw like that, that's why...

So my question to readers of this entry (whoever you may be) is:

Do you think it's embarrassing to show your old art after self improvement?

So, lots of stuff...
familys fun. Hopelessness is fun too...

Pretty much self loathing and complete loss of wanting to live. I dont become depressed often, at least, when Im infront of others but sometimes I just cant hide it anymore. I feel like a complete burden to my entire family right now. Like they would be better off without my presence, but this isnt really the first time Ive felt this way so Im sure itll pass. Hopefully...
I have some real anger mixed in too, like Im constantly anrgy at myself for being afraid, and always wanting to run away when things arent going right. Im angry at my family, for thinking of me as incompetent and always saying Im wierd because Im quiet. Im quiet because I filter what I say aloud. If I didnt many people would think of me as crude, or silly, or stupid, or whatever. I say what I want to say aloud after going through possible responses to my comments in my head. Im not stupid, Im not mean, Im just calculated.
I like my privacy and Id like to keep it 'private.'

Just had to rant. More later I guess.
My mood will probably effect my art and what I draw.

YAY I'M BACK~

      ............................DANCE................... <("<)...................(>")>...............................

Anyway, So lots of things have happened in my life since I last updated things.
I am no longer in college (I decided I needed to take a break and find myself, right now I'm enjoying a job producing films and doing some journalistic work at a company), and also living in Northern California. When I say 'Northern' I mean north of San Francisco. I was surprised when people who didn't live in this state thought north meant the Bay area.
Also I haven't really done any painting until recently, and I was like 'Wut are you doing, Aturm?! YOU MUST DRAW DAMMIT.'
and so I will try to draw more and upload all of my ideas that are swimming around in my head. I have a lot of random sketches that I think I will try to upload. I'm very sad cuz my printer is no more TT^TT and so now I have to take a picture of my art and then upload the picture of my picture (Inception!) so the process will take longer.

I have really gotten into photography lately so there's also that that I should also be uploading more frequently I hope. I've been really happy with myself personality wise. Have been really chipper for a while compared to my post high school grad months which really were a bunch of pooo.

okees. Imma done for nows.

So I am officially a Colorado college student. I love my classes, but the only down side is I didn't bring my tablet with me!
....there's going to be a lot of hand drawn pieces and photography from now on i guess...
Well, I miss the Northwest a heck of a lot, and I have to say I didn't realize how yellow the sun is...it's weird seeing it every day.
But~ I do love it here and I think my relationships with my family have improved it's so great to be able to see family that I wasn't super close to before, and get a chance to get to know them better.

Alright, so last thing; I finally got the courage to post the first chapter of my beloved fantasy "Mystic;the shift," and i don't know if I should post the next chapter...I didn't really get any input on whether it was any good or not and so I'm wondering if anybody is interested in reading it...by the way, just because I don't post it doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing it...

But anyway, I would really love the masses opinion on that so PLEASE get back to me!

Best to all the wonderful artists out there,
Aturm.

So I am almost done with high school! On top of that I have been accepted into University of Colorado! its so far away from the Northwest, but thats alright because it has its own type of beauty. And I could use the sun...
On to more things...I have taken lots of pictures lately, and am going to upload lots within the next few days. I recently took a trip to the rain forest in Washington state, as well as go to the Portland zoo!
So, I am feeling much better than previously and I am also happy to be moving on in life. Well, heres to new adventures!